Why men have affairs?
Talk about a loaded topic that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on ever since ancient times. Affairs can be burdened with evils, cause sadness, and other problems. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, funds, age difference, faith education, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, discreet dating for married.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek an extramarital affair. I am sure generally though it is just the human state, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Naturally we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos the world has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the rage of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is horribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your family or anybody else? You will need to lessen the risk you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major grouping, colossal really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they feel comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your savings are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair from time to time solves the trouble while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sadly this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the husband is sexually neglecting his lady for a large humber of reasons. As a male I really am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be compassion is gone, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Could be we have just developed apart, our common concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair